. . . all walk into a bar. They all sit and wait for their drinks, though I don't see how this is possible, as abortion is a medical procedure, so how could it walk into a bar? I don't think Hustler magazine, Planned Parenthood, and condoms can do that either, but hey this, is gonna be a fucking weird joke. I also don't see how George Orwell or Aldous Huxley could be there either, I mean, aren't they busy crying for the world in the afterlife? I don't see why Hugh Hefner would even bother going to a bar. The only ones I could see in the bar are strippers. So blah-blah-blah, they all get their drinks, drink their drinks, and suddenly a wild anti-choice whack appears. They can choose to fight, see what's in their bag, switch Pokemon, or flee. Anyway, the anti-choice whack screams at them about immorality and Jesus and Big Brother, then runs away. They all promptly go "What the fuck?" Who can blame them? Yeah, I'm pretty sure that wasn't funny.
And we get this image:
First up, do these idiots even know what Big Brother even is? I think this is what they think Big Brother is:
Their big college frat-boy brother who likes to look at porn, sleep with girls, is responsible about sex (uses condoms, the girls he sleeps with are on the pill, use E.C., etc.), he's been to a few strip clubs, he once hired a whore, but really he's a nice guy. But Zombie Jezus no like all that shit and their bro's going to hell. They also think since their brother isn't a good Chwistun man he has broken relationships. They probably also thinks he's a horrible person (though I pointed out before that he's a nice guy) because he enjoys sex. There's nothing wrong with that guy at all. As stated before, but Zombie Jezus no like that shit. Well here's what I have to say on that: Your religion can say anything and I still won't care. I don't care if your religion involves sucking cock 24/7 or saving yourself for marriage, don't shove it down my fucking throat (I mean I did mention the sucking cock 24/7). OK, lame dick jokes aside, that guy can buy all the whores in the world for all I care. As long as that guy doesn't make me sleep with them, have the time of your life, kid. Fuck all you want, no restrictions as long as there's proper consent. Look at all the damn porn you want as long as you don't make me look at it. He isn't bothering me with his life, so why should I even bother him with mine? But even though college bro isn't bothering his little person with his sex life, they still want to shove their religion up his ass. (How many sex jokes can I make out of this? I mean if I can make references to packing fudge in this post I must be made of win.) But I'll say this: Don't force your religion on others because you have no right to do so. Don't give me your Hell bullshit, either. I'll worry about Hell when I'm busy smoking weed there.
Now let me explain what Big Brother is:
Big Brother is meant to represent Stalin, a former leader of the former Soviet Union. Orwell was a product of his time, fearing oppression in all ways, especially in Communism. I mean, people overthrew the czars, started their own government, and now have a functioning, yet oppressed society that wouldn't shut down until decades later? Yeah, Communist Russia scared many, many people. We learn years later the true horrors of this place, the millions killed, the hunger, the propaganda, how so many people clung to the ideas of Communism, facing their oppression in the vain hope that somehow their lives are better. Big Brother was Stalin, who was pretty much the god of the Soviet Union if there ever was one. However, Orwell had many innacuracies about Communist Russia, and you can see so when observing 1984 in a historical glance. Big Brother also represents our great fears of oppression, of following only one person.
But one of the most important parts of 1984 is how anti-sex the government was. How can you enjoy sex and still follow Big Brother? Therefore, how can you follow Zombie Jezus and still enjoy sex? Yeah, I bet you anti-choicers never thought I'd think of that.
Seriously though, I can draw comparisons between your Christian image and Big Brother from 1984. You're both anti-sex except for procreation, both force your beliefs down others, are insensitive bigots, and you have ways of indoctrinating children. But you don't think very complexly, since that's all hard and stuff, do you? You just make a crappy picture on Photoshop and put in big words you don't understand. I'm surprised you didn't mention Brave New World, but that literature seems too hard for you.
But here's my most important message:Have all the consentual, legal sex you want. Look at all the porn you want. Use all the birth control you want. Get an abortion if you feel for any reason you need one. I am in no position to tell you what to do with your life in any way at all. As long as you don't make me do any of that with you, go for it.
There are consequences to all actions, good or bad. Yes, you may strain your relationship with your significant other if you look at porn. However, it may not, and for all I know you and your significant other are busy fapping to it right now. Good for you! I trust that you can responsibly take care of your own life and I won't have to get into it.
If you like Hustler or Playboy, fine with me. I know, I know, a feminist defending perhaps two of the most misogynistic magazines ever. I'm fine with porn as long as I'm not looking at it, the models are paid, 21 and over, doing it without pressure, and giving full consent along with being fully comfortable with it. Because that's their damn business, not mine.
If you choose to sleep with other people, use protection, go to strip clubs, get a call girl or rent boy, that's your business. Leave me out of it and keep proper consent, pay your hourly $190, and after that, it's fine by me.
If you need an abortion, that's your own fucking business.
If I were to try to get into your life and fuck with it because of my morality, well fuck me. I shouldn't do that, neither should anyone else. Your morality is your own morality, so keep it to yourself and don't force it on everyone else. If I find something morally wrong in my religion and wish to ban it even though other people are of different religions than me, that is oppression. I am being Big Brother, which is exactly what these people are doing. They're just too ignorant to understand me because they throw around big words without looking at the context. Now excuse me while I live my personal, private life that involve things that offend many Christians.
There are consequences to all actions, good or bad. Yes, you may strain your relationship with your significant other if you look at porn. However, it may not, and for all I know you and your significant other are busy fapping to it right now. Good for you! I trust that you can responsibly take care of your own life and I won't have to get into it.
If you like Hustler or Playboy, fine with me. I know, I know, a feminist defending perhaps two of the most misogynistic magazines ever. I'm fine with porn as long as I'm not looking at it, the models are paid, 21 and over, doing it without pressure, and giving full consent along with being fully comfortable with it. Because that's their damn business, not mine.
If you choose to sleep with other people, use protection, go to strip clubs, get a call girl or rent boy, that's your business. Leave me out of it and keep proper consent, pay your hourly $190, and after that, it's fine by me.
If you need an abortion, that's your own fucking business.
If I were to try to get into your life and fuck with it because of my morality, well fuck me. I shouldn't do that, neither should anyone else. Your morality is your own morality, so keep it to yourself and don't force it on everyone else. If I find something morally wrong in my religion and wish to ban it even though other people are of different religions than me, that is oppression. I am being Big Brother, which is exactly what these people are doing. They're just too ignorant to understand me because they throw around big words without looking at the context. Now excuse me while I live my personal, private life that involve things that offend many Christians.
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