What is a prom, you ask. A prom is a high school dance for horny teens to spike punch and keep the Trojan condom companies running.
What does a prom look like, you say. A prom consists of girls wearing dresses, guys wearing tuxes, and everyone revealing whether or not they can dance.
What does a prom consist of?
Step 1: Get ready cause you've got to look nice. This may take months to get ready. You'll need to get an outfit.
Step 3: Dance (even though it's obvious you can't)!
Step 5: Wake up from your hangover and proceed getting on with your life. You'll forget this in ten years.
That my friends is this thing we Americans call "prom". Now what do when all hell breaks loose at prom because there's a paranormal creature that broke in and is going to ruin everything?
"The Executioner's Daughter" by Meg Cabot
I was so excited that I was going to get to read Meg Cabot because I love her work, but this was disappointing. I didn't like the love interest, the story would've been better had it been longer, the changing voices wasn't needed, and it felt too mainstream vampire for me. No Meg Cabot magic in sight.
2/5 stars
"The Corsage" by Lauren Myracle
"The Monkey's Paw" is an interesting story, but this was so predictable it was a shame to read. It had characters with no real personalities and a story that puts "The Monkey's Paw" to shame. The main character couldn't seem to think clearly at all and the story was rather boring.
2/5 stars
"Madison Avery and the Dim Reaper" by Kim Harrison
This story milked on the cash cow by writing a short story to make you either identify with the Madison Avery books more or to make you read the series. I am only halfway interested in it. Parts of the story were interesting, parts weren't. Like I said, this is just to make you read the series.
3/5 stars
"Kiss and Tell" by Michelle Jaffe
This was partly good, partly bad. It had interesting concepts but they were hardly explained. I also would have wanted to see more of the heroine's powers. The other girl was interesting, but after that I barely liked anyone. It was another average story.
3/5 stars
"Hell on Earth" by Stephenie Meyer
This is where the fun starts, ladies and gentleman.
What was this story?
All boys are insanely horny. They can only function their brain and dick one at a time.
All girls are shallow and only care about dresses and if their boyfriend gets stolen from them (they have the right to be pissed).
An evil female demon is a total slut who wants to ruin everyone.
Everyone is straight.
The plot was like this:
Evil slut shrew female demon creature tries to ruin everyone's prom fun. Why? Because apparently demons have to spread hell at a high school dance rather than at collapsing bridges. Evil slut controls people, making one girl a total slut, one guy nearly cause a school shooting, and spike the punch. Refer back to shooting Santa robot. So the demon slut breaks out stereotype heaven (or hell) and then she gets a shrew taming and falls in "love" (you know, Meyer is an expert on "love") with a half angel. Everything ends misogyny ever after. This story was too long and could have been told quicker. I also threw the book because that story was that bad. Meyer also believes lots of people meet their true love in high school, so continue punching yourself in the face.
1/5 stars
I wanted to like parts of this book (but I knew Meyer and I wouldn't get along), but it ultimately failed. I might read another "Something Is Hell" book, but I'm not sure. At least I only got it for $1.00 at a used bookstore. This book also donates some of the money to charity, which is good. But even that doesn't save this book. It gets about two stars total.
Do I recommend this? No, there are better books out there.
Really it's quite unrelated to this post, but you should read Prom Dates from Hell. A similar title, a superior book, and no Stephenie Meyer.
ReplyDeleteNo Stephenie Meyer? Sounds promising, LOL. I'll make sure to read it (but I have no idea when). Thanks. :)
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