Monday, January 9, 2012

Hush, Hush by Becca Fitzpatrick New Review

Yes people, I Katherine The Liberal Blogger Person, am going to read the misogynistic trash that is the Hush, Hush series, including the fourth book and graphic novel. And don't tell me to be nice Becca Fitzpatrick, you're wasting your breath.

My first review of this book did not give my true message across, so I am going to review this book again.

I will start this book by telling you all about our main character, Nora. Nora is a frigging bitch who thinks she can do whatever the hell she wants or else she will stick herself up your ass. Nobody wants her in their ass (Warning: If You Want To Keep That Precious Ass Of Yours Clean, Keep Away From Nora). She will stop at nothing to get she wants, even if it puts her in danger of an abusive relationship. It is one thing to stop people from running all over you, it's another to be a stuck up bitch. Nora is that bitch. Not the cute girl-puppy bitch or the epic magazine Bitch, she is just a frigging bitch who doesn't give a damn about anyone. All she wants to do is stick Patch's dick inside her vagina. Nora is not afraid to go out of her way to get exactly what she wants, which is shirtless "angel" rapist. This is Nora: 
Yet at the same time, Nora is afraid of Patch. Nora, in a weird relationship way, I'm telling you this: 
 But people in abusive relationships often cling to their abusers, wanting to stay with them. Patch fills some void in her thoughtless, air-filled mind. Patch may be a bastard to her, but oh how she clings to Patch.
Patch stalks Nora, almost rapes her (he wants to), sexually harasses her, and violates her as a human being. He's supposed to be an angel, but instead he is a bastard.
And Nora stalks Patch, wanting him. When that bitch wants Patch, she gets Patch! At times even Patch is afraid of her. Together they are the image of the teenage wet dream. Nora and Patch, as your relationship counselor, I have to tell you this: 

You know what? This entire book was a frigging wet dream! I am one of the biggest asexuals around, rivaling Sheldon Cooper himself. You bitches think I want to read about an angsty angsty angst a la angst book about a teenager's wet dream?
Fuck no!

The entire frigging book is about Patch being a creeper, Nora being a creeper, fearful Nora being fearful of Patch. THERE IS NO FRIGGING PLOT THAT ISN'T ABOUT SEX! How does this make me feel? 

If I wanted sex I'd go on the internet and look at porn for fuck's sake! But do I look at porn? No. Why? If you didn't get the memo: I am an asexual who doesn't want sex! (Note: There are asexuals who have sen and look at porn, and I am fine with them doing so.) I can porn for free and have countless amounts of it! Why even bother with this shit? I had to read over 300 pages of this hormonal shit! I could have surfed the web the entire time!
We have other characters that don't need to exist. They were all flat, boring as hell, and unmemorable. The villains had no meaning to be villains. The villains in Disney movies literally have more motivation than the ones in this book! Literally, almost zero Disney villains have any true meaning to be villains except. . .? *Counts Fingers* 
The evil guy I forgot the name of from The Princess and the Frog. 

Lots O' Hugging Bear from Toy Story 3. (Do Pixar movies even count?)
And my brain can't think of anything else. I thought of two villains, two! Disney is famous for crazy villains, and these are the only "real" evil ones. The others are just villains to be villains.

Vee, Nora's BFF is a useless character, meant to be shamed whenever possible.
Nora's parents (her dad dead) are both useless.
The villains are useless.
Nora is useless.
Patch is useless.
THE ENTIRE FRIGGING BOOK IS USELESS! They killed trees for this piece of shit! I mourn for you poor trees!
So what's the golden scenes of women-hatred in this book?
-The biology teacher supporting Patch when he sexually harasses Nora.
-Slut shaming (but not to oh righteous Nora)
-Glorifying rapists

But I have saved my fellow feminist friends from the rest of this book and will also help save them from the rest of the series. This book is one star only.

Now go surf the internet for nude people (or some other productive activity) instead of reading this!

Now Becca Fitzpatrick, if you are reading this and pissed that was not nice to your book, I say this:

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