Friday, January 13, 2012
City of Bones by Cassandra Clare Review
This is my first DNF review, with good reasons. I never had high hopes for this book because (almost) always read bad book reviews before reading a book, and I read lots of 1 and 2 star reviews.
I am going to say this right now:
Cassandra Clare can NOT write worth a fuck. She makes the craziest similes and has the most blah plot. I ONLY READ 3 PAGES before saying, "Fuck this, I have better books to read!"
Here is a sentence from the book:
"It bent as easily as a blade of grass bending sideways."
What the hell is that? What the flying fuck is that? What am I supposed to think of that sentence? That it bends backwards easily? I've taken blades of grass and bent them backward, they bent easily. But even so, that is perhaps the worst written sentence I've ever read. You could make a much better simile, but we get THAT.
It seems YA these days would rather sell crap they know will sell rather than good writing that may not sell because it has no stupidity within five hundred miles inside the book. This is crap that the publishers knew would sell. Has it sold? It's a NYT bestseller! So why are good authors not published? Because shit that isn't superficial junk isn't what YA needs.
Also, here's what Cassandra thinks we teens are:
A bunch of crazy, hormone filled adolescents who just want to go out and get smashed at clubs. We teenagers love to go clubbing for some stupid reason.
What do I do? I stay at home, read, write, blog, hang with my friends, watch Family Guy and My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, listen to music, and I realize now I am not a teenager according to Miss Clare. I am a twenty-one year old college student who is crazy about studying an can't get laid! Why in the flying fuck did I not realize this before? I can't possibly be a teenager because even the nerdiest, most desperate nerds who can't get laid just look at porn or whatever the fuck. I'm much older than I look. So, where am I going to college at? *Brain Explosion*
Miss Clare, teens don't have to do crazy shit to be teenagers. A lot of teenagers do crazy shit, but not all, a very small minority.
And there is a vampire hunter dude getting into the night club without any real questioning. He has the "grass blade" thing.
This was awful and I can't see myself reading any more.