Wednesday, December 21, 2011

My Abstinence Only Education Story

As  a  teenage  feminist,  I  have  my  own  issues  with  how  sex  is  treated  today.  I  live  in  Indiana  where  our  governor  is  trying  to  get  Planned  Parenthood  shut  down.  A  few  months  ago  in  my  health  class  we  had  our  two  to  three  week  (I  had  health  class  from  Monday  to  Wednesday)  sex  education  class,  A.K.A.  abstinence  gets  pounded  down  your  throat.  The  people  that  came  had  already  been  to  public  school,  now  at  my  private  Christian  school  (it's  bad  enough  that  I'm  a  spiritualist,  but  that's  a  whole  different  story).  But  I  have  a  story  from  the  year  before:

A  year  ago  in  my  first  abstinence  only  education  class,  we  were  discussing  genetalia.  They  referred  to  the  penis  as  "testes",  I  referred  to  it  as  the  "penis".  Basically,  I  said  the  word  "penis"  out  loud  (stone  me).  During  lunch  people  (girls)  discussed  it,  and it  got spread  around.  Hooray  for  my  school  slut  status  because  I  said  the  word  "penis".  Maybe  next  I'll  charge  $2.85  for  a  night.

This  year  I  didn't  say  the  evil  word  of  evilness  that  I  shouldn't  know.  Here's  another  story  that  must  be  told  before  I  continue:

I  am  a  bike  freak.  I  love  riding  around  (when  it's  warm),  looking  at  bikes,  I  love  my  bike.  A  running  joke  between  my  friend  Paige  and  I  is  that  I  lost  my  "virginity"  (I  do  not  believe  in  virginity,  I  believe  it  is  a  myth)  to  my  bike  seat.  Basically  me  and  my  bike  were  riding  along,  bump-bump,  holy  shit  my  bike  seat  broke  my  hymen  and  I  didn't  even  use  rubbers!  Yes,  I  lost  my  "wonderful"  virginity  to  a  bike  seat.  Do  I  win  slut  award  or  what?  Oh  yeah,  I've  had  a  couple  bikes  during  my  short  life.

This  class  was  practically  worshiping  Jesus  and  the  holy  hymen.  If  you  broke  it  with  consent  you  are  a  dirty  whore  (my  bike  didn't  pay  me  $2.85,  worst  John  evah).  So  here  are  perhaps  the  stupidest  points  during  class:
Condoms  are  made  of  plastic.  I'm  serious,  they  said  that.  God,  has  no  one  ever  heard  that  nice  slang  word  called  "rubbers"?
Rapists  who  threaten  you  won't  really  hurt  you.  They  said  something  along  the  lines  of,  "You  know  people  (*cough,  cough,  males*)  may  say  they'll  hurt  you  if  you  don't  have  sex  with  them,  but  they  really  won't  hurt  you."  First  up,  if  someone  (*cough,  cough  males*)  is  about  to  shoot  you  if  you  don't  have  sex  with  them,  you  probably  won't  be  thinking  that.  Second,  it's  wrong.  Some  people  (*cough,  cough  males*)  will  hurt  you  if  you  don't  have  sex  with  them.  That  is  an  outright  lie  (just  like  what  condoms  are  made  of).
Birth  control  is  what  women  use.  I  grew  a  dick,  sweet.  Apparently  women  use  condoms,  like  on  themselves.  Women  have  finally  been  liberated,  Gloria  Steinem,  because  we've  all  suddenly  grown  penises!  Isn't  that  just  great?  They  never  clarified  by  saying  the  pill,  so  who  is  to  say  I've  finally  gotten  the  glory?  But  does  this  mean  we'll  all  have  to  move  to  Australia  to  get  the  pill  (male  birth  control  pills  are  sold  and  successful  in  Australia)?
Condoms  and  the  pill  -  that's  it.  Last  time  I  checked  there  were  more  forms  of  birth  control. You  know  like  spermicide.  Apparently  I'm  wrong.  And  let's  not  forget  the  "they  don't  always  work,  so  don't  bother  with  them".
Fetus  =  Human.  They  showed  us  a  video  about  how  a  fetus  is  formed  basically  to  scare  us  about  abortion.  How  do  they  justify  abortion  as  wrong?  Look  at  the  little  organs,  evil  women  sluts  don't  care  about  the  little  organs  and  get  abortions!
Boys  are  the  ones  who  want  sex.  The  girl  always  gets  asked  for  sex,  she  never  wants  it  because girls  aren't  sexual,  girl  gives  herself  to  guy.  Our  example  of  sexting  was  a  girl  got  naked  and  emailed  the  picture  to  her  boyfriend,  they  broke  up,  and  he  sent  the  picture  to  everyone  he  knew  as  revenge.  It's  obvious  a  guy  would  absolutely,  positively  would  never  and  I  mean  ever  send  his  naked  picture  to  his  girlfriend.  No
The  Reasons  Why  Teens  Have  Sex:
Peer  Pressure
Curiosity  (Isn't  that  kind  of,  natural?)
Self  Esteem  Issues
They  Want  To  Have  Sex
The  first  three  reasons  can  be  true,  but  never  is  it  said  teens  have  sex  because  they  want  to.  It  seems  nobody  cares  about  us  hormone  monsters  because  they  expect  us  to  be  chaste.
Adultery.  Since  this  is  a  Christian  school,  we  have  the  great  law  against  adultery.  Do  you  know  what  adultery  refers  to?  Extramarital  sex,  where  you  are  married  and  have  sex  with  someone  else.  If  you  have  premarital  sex  you  aren't  married.  But  they  love  clumping  those  to  different  things  as  the  same  thing.
Sexuality.  Your  sexuality  is  a  gift  that  should  be  saved  for  after  marriage.  There  are  ways  to  express  your  sexuality  without  having  sex,  but  that  would  be  wearing  "immodest"  clothing  or  masturbating.  Don't  touch  yourself  until  you're  married!
The  only  safe  sex  is  abstinence.  You  do  know  not  having  sex  is  abstinence?  So  the  "safest"  sex  is  not  having  sex  at  all?  How  is  that  having  sex?  Refer  back  to  birth  control  doesn't  work  so  don't  bother.

I  wish  I'd  stood  up  for  my  beliefs,  but  I'd  probably  get  expelled.  If  I  interjected  and  said  what  condoms  are  really  made  of  I  would  have  been  told  to  be  quiet,  really  if  I  said  anything  I  would've  gotten  sent  to  the  principal.  Once  I'm  out  of  school  I  can  blog  my  pain  away,  in  there  I  have  to  sit  quietly  and  wish  I  could  do  something.  I  did  however  do  one  thing  (that  I  regret).
I  read  Gossip  Girl  in  class.  I  was  showing  off that  book  filled  with  slut-shaming  because  I  knew  they'd  be  pissed.  But  that  book  was  also  slut-shaming  awfulness  that  is  a  disgrace  to  all  literature  everywhere  and  my  eyes  practically  melted.  I  am  never  reading  that  series  again  that  glorifies  slut-shaming  and  rapists  like  Chuck.  I  think  I'll  stick  to  Judy  Blume  and  Katherine  +  Michael.

So  there's  your  inside  look  at  the  right-wing  sex  education  class.  It's  filled  with  slut-shaming,  obvious  lies,  and  pure  bullshit.  And  we  already  have  over  three  pregnancy  crisis  clinics  where  I  live,  Planned  Parenthood  may  truly  be  done  for  where  I  live.  Teenage  pregnancy  is  also  a  problem  where  I  live,  this  gives  me  no  hope.  Now  excuse  me  while  I  go  try  on  condoms  with  my  brand  new  genitals.


  1. Luckily for me, I convinced my parents to let me attend a public high school after having to suffer through almost 8 years of Catholic elementary school. Nonetheless, I do remember that the administrators of my Catholic school forbid the teachers from teaching us anything about sex. They told them that if we asked questions to simply tell us that sex is a "special act of love" only permitted between a married man & woman and that we're too young to be discussing the topic.

    Fortunately, when we got to 8th grade, we had an awesome teacher by name of Miss Bauer who took it upon herself to give us sex ed classes in secret. She knew that some of us were already beginning to explore our sexuality, and she was worried we weren't making informed decisions. Therefore, once a week, she would take us down to the science lab, post one of the students at the door as a lookout, and would then have open discussions with us about both the physical & social aspects of sex. Major kudos to her.

    It seriously irks me how closed-minded some people can be about sex and how much misinformation they spread among young people. Don't they realize that they're probably doing more harm than good? The funny thing is that in my public high school graduating class there wasn't a single girl who had been or was pregnant. In the graduating classes of my friends' Catholic high schools, there were multiple pregnant girls. They were only taught about abstinence; we weren't.

    I'm sorry that you have to be exposed to such Bias & ignorance, but you're obviously an intelligent, open-minded young I know you'll be just fine. Stay true to yourself and hold onto your beliefs.

  2. What point were they trying to make when they said that condoms were made of plastic? I don't see what difference the construction material makes. (Aside from the condoms made from sheepskin, which is too porous to prevent the spread of many STDs)

  3. They couldn't properly say what condoms are made of. If you are supposed to be educating a class, you should know your material.

  4. Oh. They were merely factually incorrect? Wow. Okay. I had assumed that if they were going to be that wrong about something, they would have had some ulterior purpose.