A year ago in my first abstinence only education class, we were discussing genetalia. They referred to the penis as "testes", I referred to it as the "penis". Basically, I said the word "penis" out loud (stone me). During lunch people (girls) discussed it, and it got spread around. Hooray for my school slut status because I said the word "penis". Maybe next I'll charge $2.85 for a night.
This year I didn't say the evil word of evilness that I shouldn't know. Here's another story that must be told before I continue:
I am a bike freak. I love riding around (when it's warm), looking at bikes, I love my bike. A running joke between my friend Paige and I is that I lost my "virginity" (I do not believe in virginity, I believe it is a myth) to my bike seat. Basically me and my bike were riding along, bump-bump, holy shit my bike seat broke my hymen and I didn't even use rubbers! Yes, I lost my "wonderful" virginity to a bike seat. Do I win slut award or what? Oh yeah, I've had a couple bikes during my short life.
This class was practically worshiping Jesus and the holy hymen. If you broke it with consent you are a dirty whore (my bike didn't pay me $2.85, worst John evah). So here are perhaps the stupidest points during class:
Condoms are made of plastic. I'm serious, they said that. God, has no one ever heard that nice slang word called "rubbers"?
Rapists who threaten you won't really hurt you. They said something along the lines of, "You know people (*cough, cough, males*) may say they'll hurt you if you don't have sex with them, but they really won't hurt you." First up, if someone (*cough, cough males*) is about to shoot you if you don't have sex with them, you probably won't be thinking that. Second, it's wrong. Some people (*cough, cough males*) will hurt you if you don't have sex with them. That is an outright lie (just like what condoms are made of).
Birth control is what women use. I grew a dick, sweet. Apparently women use condoms, like on themselves. Women have finally been liberated, Gloria Steinem, because we've all suddenly grown penises! Isn't that just great? They never clarified by saying the pill, so who is to say I've finally gotten the glory? But does this mean we'll all have to move to Australia to get the pill (male birth control pills are sold and successful in Australia)?
Condoms and the pill - that's it. Last time I checked there were more forms of birth control. You know like spermicide. Apparently I'm wrong. And let's not forget the "they don't always work, so don't bother with them".
Fetus = Human. They showed us a video about how a fetus is formed basically to scare us about abortion. How do they justify abortion as wrong? Look at the little organs, evil
Boys are the ones who want sex. The girl always gets asked for sex, she never wants it because girls aren't sexual, girl gives herself to guy. Our example of sexting was a girl got naked and emailed the picture to her boyfriend, they broke up, and he sent the picture to everyone he knew as revenge. It's obvious a guy would absolutely, positively would never and I mean ever send his naked picture to his girlfriend. No
The Reasons Why Teens Have Sex:
Curiosity (Isn't that kind of, natural?)
Self Esteem Issues
The first three reasons can be true, but never is it said teens have sex because they want to. It seems nobody cares about us hormone monsters because they expect us to be chaste.
Adultery. Since this is a Christian school, we have the great law against adultery. Do you know what adultery refers to? Extramarital sex, where you are married and have sex with someone else. If you have premarital sex you aren't married. But they love clumping those to different things as the same thing.
Sexuality. Your sexuality is a gift that should be saved for after marriage. There are ways to express your sexuality without having sex, but that would be wearing "immodest" clothing or masturbating. Don't touch yourself until you're married!
The only safe sex is abstinence. You do know not having sex is abstinence? So the "safest" sex is not having sex at all? How is that having sex? Refer back to birth control doesn't work so don't bother.
I wish I'd stood up for my beliefs, but I'd probably get expelled. If I interjected and said what condoms are really made of I would have been told to be quiet, really if I said anything I would've gotten sent to the principal. Once I'm out of school I can blog my pain away, in there I have to sit quietly and wish I could do something. I did however do one thing (that I regret).
I read Gossip Girl in class. I was showing off that book filled with slut-shaming because I knew they'd be pissed. But that book was also slut-shaming awfulness that is a disgrace to all literature everywhere and my eyes practically melted. I am never reading that series again that glorifies slut-shaming and rapists like Chuck. I think I'll stick to Judy Blume and Katherine + Michael.
So there's your inside look at the right-wing sex education class. It's filled with slut-shaming, obvious lies, and pure bullshit. And we already have over three pregnancy crisis clinics where I live, Planned Parenthood may truly be done for where I live. Teenage pregnancy is also a problem where I live, this gives me no hope. Now excuse me while I go try on condoms with my brand new genitals.